How to Show Up for a Friend Going Through Divorce
Divorce can be gut-wrenching, not only for the spouses who are breaking up, but it can also be hard on the friends and family of those going through the divorce. Watching your friend go through something as difficult as a divorce may leave you feeling helpless. However, there are ways to support a friend going through a divorce – and often support is the best prescription for a breakup.
Continue to Invite Them
Even if your friend continues to decline your invitations, when you invite them to join you at social events – or even just to come over for dinner – it shows them you care. Hopefully, they will eventually give in and accept one of your invites. And if they don’t? Well, at least they know you’re a friend who cares and wants them around.
Help Them Move
One of the worst parts of a divorce is having to move out and relocate. Packing up belongings can be extremely emotional, so if your friend is doing this solo, offer to help them. Having a friend there can help an emotionally draining session not be quite as terrible. And if they break down and cry, you’re there to help wipe a tear or make them laugh.
Listen but Don’t Trash Talk
During a divorce, emotions can be high for everyone involved, even if it is an amicable divorce. Make sure to listen to your friend’s feelings and emotions while also not commenting or trashing their ex. You would be surprised how quickly a situation can change and you don’t want to say something that you would regret after.
Bring Over Food
Isn’t food everyone’s love language? You’d be amazed at the things that you can learn over a quick meal. Pick up a few sandwiches or a pizza (or whatever your friends’ taste buds love) and give your friend one less meal to worry about. Even if their divorce is amicable, it can still be difficult. Showing your friend that you are there to support them with something as simple as a pizza, can speak volumes to your friend.
Be There to Listen But Don’t Press for Details
When someone is going through a tough time, like a divorce, it’s important to listen but not press for the juicy details. If your friend doesn’t want to go into detail or talk about something, leave it at that. Everyone deals with divorce differently and your friend may just not be ready to talk yet.
Be Accepting of Their Decision to Date or Not
When a friend is newly single, it can be tempting to try to fix them up. It can also be easy to judge them for dating so soon. Whatever they decide to hold off on dating or jump back in the pool right away, let them live their life and hold off on judging their decisions. Instead of offering them advice on what you think they should do, let your friend know that you’re there for them, support them and care about their wellbeing.
Ask What They Need
If your friend is going through a divorce it’s important to realize that every situation is different. Ask them what they need help with instead of assuming.
Continue to Be There For Them
The grief that a divorce can bring has no time stamp. If it is an amicable divorce, maybe your friend moves on quickly. But sometimes moving on from a divorce can take months or even years. Continuing to be there for your friend going through a divorce will help them feel supported -and not alone – for the long haul.
If you or a friend need professional divorce advice, we urge you to contact us. At Lazor Rantas, we understand divorce is not one size fits all, and are prepared to help. If you need an experienced attorney to guide you through the process, contact us today. We proudly serve clients throughout New Jersey as they navigate divorce and other complicated family law matters