It Doesn’t Have to Be Bitter: 4 Ways to Keep Your Divorce Amicable
The idea of divorce as a nasty, bitter, drawn-out process where both parties end up hating each other is, sadly, ubiquitous. While it’s true that many divorce proceedings can be ugly, amicable divorce is not an oxymoron! Many couples choose to go through mediation, proceed with an uncontested divorce, or simply agree to keep things civil.
Here are four ways to keep your split civil:
- Divorce Mediation
In divorce mediation, couples work with a neutral third party who listens to both of their concerns to develop a solution that works for their unique needs. The parties then sign a Matrimonial Settlement Agreement and present it to the court. Many couples prefer to use mediation to settling their issues in court.
- Uncontested Divorce
In an uncontested divorce, both parties reach an agreement before they file divorce papers. They outline a plan for the equitable distribution of their assets, alimony, and child custody and support. In New Jersey, one party must still be the complainant who serves their spouse with divorce papers after filing them. Then, both parties simply wait for the court to approve the arrangement. Uncontested divorce will not be an option for every couple, but for those who can come to an agreement, it is an excellent way to ensure that the process remains civil.
- Hire a Divorce Coach or Therapist
No matter how determined you may be to keep your divorce amicable, chances are you will experience anger, sadness, and frustration at some point. Hiring a divorce coach or a therapist who specializes in divorce, can be a great way to let go of those negative feelings without allowing them to affect your behavior towards—or relationship with—your ex-partner.
- Agree Not to Speak Negatively of Your Ex-Partner
This one seems straightforward, but it is extremely important. By speaking negatively of your ex-partner—either publicly, or privately with your friends—you can poison any chance of making it through the divorce process without bitter feelings for your ex. It is especially important not to speak badly of your ex-partner in front of your children.
Even the best-intentioned of splits can be awkward and complicated. By employing one or more of the strategies above, you can improve your chances of keeping it clean.
At Lazor Rantas, PC, we have years of experience helping clients through divorce, and the various emotional obstacles that present themselves along the way. Call us at (973) 457-8844 or fill out the contact form below to discuss your case.